This truly must be a Godwink. As I was trying to go to the beginning of your journal here - I saw Lauren Daigle's face. I have written a bit on her lately and posted her music as well. In fact, I saw her twice this year. I am not one for idolizing - as I believe in only God as my Savior - however, down here on earth, it's artists like Lauren who are using her gifts to speak and sew His name into that beautiful tapestry as you say. The kaleidoscope. We don't see anything but "self" in other artists being used for an agenda. It's strange because I feel like I am living on a different planet, even with my own family. It's just not their time to hear His voice. They knew it a long time ago so I know He's always "got them." I am so so sorry to see the face of your beautiful Morgan, and know that you have suffered, like my friends, over our beautiful Patrick. At the time they lost him, our own firstborn son, the same age, decided to flippantly estrange from us, holding back our little grandchildren and then my dad's cancer came back. Nothing made sense. The world went upside-down in 2020 and it continues. Our once great nation is in desperate need of healing. Satan's grip is strong - and here we are writing about all this grief. His plan is better than ours, no matter how painful. He will see your story through. He will write it in the history books. We can never stop being fearless to live to tell it and pursue His plan for us. Sending you much love and prayers. deb ox
Hi. I was trying to message you through the app so I could kind of comment on your various comments to several of my posts at the same place. Looks like it's not possible to message you. Anyway, thank you fir reading and commenting. I am sorry to hear your son hurt you during that time. Has he come around now? I hope so. I feel like we have a lot in common in the way we experience our faith and I'm looking forward to reading your past and future posts. I appreciate the encouragement and prayers.
So it's very strange but I haven't changed a thing with my DM's - it's for "everyone" and if it's someone that's not a subscriber/follower, then it should go to "request." I have a few friends that I speak to there with no problem and now several friends that either I can't DM (they don't know why?) or they can't DM me? We are friends, follow or subscribe and it's just not working. I have tried to get help - however this is the one area of Substack that is terrible. Tech. I have looked at my settings a few times and it's set up correctly so I hope it resolves itself soon! I do have an email too at debtraceyphoto@gmail.com. My heart breaks at the loss of your precious Morgan. I am so glad you are here and that God has brought you exactly who you need to speak to and to be lifted up by. I can feel your heart much like mine.
Our oldest son walked back into a birthday party 2.5 years later in Oct. of 2022 and we leave it all in God's hands. We re-met our granddaughters, one I had a bond with, previous and it was very hard - yet God was so close on that day and is with us every time we are together. It's always so fun to be with our grandkids and He sees to it that it's beautiful. Birthday parties, mostly away from home and a few events scattered between. Fluff chatter. We just go with it. He and his life changed after he married and we have loved and supported them with all our hearts and do not put any pressure on our kids. Never did. They are extremely independent. Both of our oldest (we have three, son, daughter, son) married into huge families and our life is very much like My Big Fat Greek Wedding in terms of not being the family considered. It's been heartbreaking, but there is nothing we can do but to keep being ourselves and keep going. We feel our son really wanted to come back on his own accord, because we didn't scream and yell and fight our way back into his life (it's just not us and we didn't really know what happened - it all felt so spiritual - like a battle the whole world was having) and we see and feel that he doesn't have support. His in-laws are a first priority and that's something that only he can deal with. I was a good friend to his wife, still love her and try with a guarded heart to be a friend, give her my schedule if she needs anything or would like me to help or watch the girls - but between get togethers, which are very cordial - it's dead silence. It's kinda like an ocd with her and her family and you can feel it from all of them, and her sisters. It's very different. We believe they will "all" be moving somewhere together eventually - like a compound, for lack of a better word. All I know is that we love our children. They are a gift from God and they are only ours to raise up until a certain point. They are always His first. It was a privilege to be their mom and although I'll always be their mom - they have their life and He has His plans for them. He has His plans for all of us to live out our individual purpose. God Bless you and keep you on this journey. ox
I'm happy to hear there is a relationship again, especially for you and your granddaughters. It seems you are in Oregon from one of your posts I read? Where? Hubby and I met there and our son was born in Tualatin. Beautiful state when not raining!
We take what we are given and consider it a blessing.
I'm actually in SoCal and my mom and brother are in Oregon. I know of Tualatin. My best friend lived close to there, but moved to Boise, ID, after her husband suddenly passed away just before the pandemic. My brother left Las Vegas, after 30 years to be near my mom after my dad passed, since she didn't want to move to SoCal (can't blame her). Can you imagine going from Vegas to a town of 3,000 and rain, rain, rain! He would send me the funniest videos standing outside in the rain wondering if it would ever stop!
Where in SoCal is your hubby from? Corona? That’s not far from us. And yes, sadly, my brother’s life collapsed so they both needed each other. It’s working out for now. I pray a lot for him to feel happier. It would help mom. I’m going to fly up and get her for a few months soon.
And just recently, the Lord reminded me that the scripture says “the joy of the Lord is your strength“.
I think I have believed erroneously, that because I am strong, I have joy. When I am able to withstand discouragement, or some attack of the enemy, that is when I have joy. When things seem easy, and I feel strong, that’s when I have joy.
But that is exactly opposite of what the scripture says. The scripture says it is His joy that gives us strength. It seems like an insignificant detail, but I don’t think so. I think it is profound.
So now I am determined to seek and find the ways to access His joy. And I know in turn, that will give me strength to do the things He has given me to do. 
Hi! I clicked on your link from C&C and have read your posts up to this point.
I’m so sorry for your loss here on earth, and the grief you must go through now, but here’s what I have learned:
1)No death is a “tragedy” for Christians, because as you said, the Lord is Sovereign and is good and makes no mistakes. He is perfect and His timing is perfect.
That doesn’t mean we don’t suffer or grieve - Jesus certainly did. It means we can take comfort in knowing that it wasn’t unexpected for the Lord. No death takes him by surprise. There is a Plan and according to Jeremiah, His plans for us are good.
2). God knows more than us. When my brother went through an unexpected loss, his comment to God was that his friend had died too soon. Through a series of questions that God asked him in his heart, my brother came to the conclusion that he had put himself in the seat that God belonged in. My brother wanted to determine when someone would be allowed to die, and that he would only feel satisfied with the very old dying.  you are correct that the scripture tells us that our days are numbered by God. He has a purpose and his plans are above our plans. 
I believe that God’s reasons for taking Morgan home when he did would be too numerous to explain to any of us. I believe that is one of the ways his plans are above our plans. There are so many, and they are so interconnected that we can’t fathom all of them.
3) We must keep an eternal mindset. What is God’s greatest desire? My husband teaches our children that God‘s greatest desire is to live with you forever. Wouldn’t you agree? That is the most important decision anyone makes in their whole life? To accept Jesus Christ as their personal Lord and Savior? To know that they will live with God forever? 
Being a Christian means being in the kingdom of God, either here, on the Earth, or in heaven. God is building his kingdom in heaven and currently, His last days army here on the earth. How does he build his kingdom in heaven? He brings believers home. Morgan needed to be in heaven more than she needed to be here, according to the Lord. And Morgan leaving the Earth advanced the kingdom on the Earth. Ex: People are being drawn to him through her passing. People are growing in their faith, or seeking out a relationship with Him to deal with their grief. Or praying for you and your family, which brings them to their knees, and into the throne room of God. Participating in intercession. 
4). God has good plans for you through Morgan’s passing. “ for I know the plans that I have for you declares the lord. Plans for your good, and not for your evil. To give you a future and a hope. ”. This is the scripture I mentioned from Jeremiah, and I probably got some of it wrong a little bit, but you can look it up. The Lord desires for you to “know the height and depth and breadth of the Lords love for you”. For you to “seek Him, and Him be found by you”, for you know the “joy of the Lord is your strength” and so many other truths. To continue growing in him, and my understanding is that the best way, (and his way is the best), is for Morgan to come home to Him.  he knew that is what would be best for you, and all the other people who are affected. It almost seems blasphemous to say, but God doesn’t do anything wrong. His ways are perfect. And he’s only working for all of our good. It’s hard to fathom, perhaps, but that is what I have learned. And it gives me comfort and hope to know that.  even if it is a painful truth, I don’t trust my own judgment above his judgment.
I hope this has helped you in someway. And I will pray for you as you come to mind. I also would tell you, from someone who son has walked away from the Lord, that I would rather have had him die as a Christian, knowing he was in heaven, than to spend a lifetime with him on the Earth, knowing I’ll never see him again after his earthly life was over. . We pray daily for him to return to the Lord, even if we never get to see him again here on the Earth.
Rejoice, my sister! For your name is written in the lambs book of life! Rejoice and again, I say rejoice! I encourage you to spend some time and worship. Thanking the Lord for all that He is. Agreeing with the Psalmist. Perhaps reading some of the psalms and declaring truth about who God is and that he is right. That there is no shifting shadow in him, as the Bible says. He is good. He is good. He is good. Amen. 
Thank you, Rosie. I agree with all you said and my first counseling session after her passing, the counselor said exactly that. God knows what is best. Either you believe and have faith in that or not. I do. It doesn't take away the pain of losing her, but it helps to know He knows all and I don't.
I'm terrible at quoting scripture, but I know the words. We seem dimly. I believe that. I especially agree with your point number 3.
Thank you again for commenting and your prayers for me when I come to mind.
This truly must be a Godwink. As I was trying to go to the beginning of your journal here - I saw Lauren Daigle's face. I have written a bit on her lately and posted her music as well. In fact, I saw her twice this year. I am not one for idolizing - as I believe in only God as my Savior - however, down here on earth, it's artists like Lauren who are using her gifts to speak and sew His name into that beautiful tapestry as you say. The kaleidoscope. We don't see anything but "self" in other artists being used for an agenda. It's strange because I feel like I am living on a different planet, even with my own family. It's just not their time to hear His voice. They knew it a long time ago so I know He's always "got them." I am so so sorry to see the face of your beautiful Morgan, and know that you have suffered, like my friends, over our beautiful Patrick. At the time they lost him, our own firstborn son, the same age, decided to flippantly estrange from us, holding back our little grandchildren and then my dad's cancer came back. Nothing made sense. The world went upside-down in 2020 and it continues. Our once great nation is in desperate need of healing. Satan's grip is strong - and here we are writing about all this grief. His plan is better than ours, no matter how painful. He will see your story through. He will write it in the history books. We can never stop being fearless to live to tell it and pursue His plan for us. Sending you much love and prayers. deb ox
Hi. I was trying to message you through the app so I could kind of comment on your various comments to several of my posts at the same place. Looks like it's not possible to message you. Anyway, thank you fir reading and commenting. I am sorry to hear your son hurt you during that time. Has he come around now? I hope so. I feel like we have a lot in common in the way we experience our faith and I'm looking forward to reading your past and future posts. I appreciate the encouragement and prayers.
So it's very strange but I haven't changed a thing with my DM's - it's for "everyone" and if it's someone that's not a subscriber/follower, then it should go to "request." I have a few friends that I speak to there with no problem and now several friends that either I can't DM (they don't know why?) or they can't DM me? We are friends, follow or subscribe and it's just not working. I have tried to get help - however this is the one area of Substack that is terrible. Tech. I have looked at my settings a few times and it's set up correctly so I hope it resolves itself soon! I do have an email too at debtraceyphoto@gmail.com. My heart breaks at the loss of your precious Morgan. I am so glad you are here and that God has brought you exactly who you need to speak to and to be lifted up by. I can feel your heart much like mine.
Our oldest son walked back into a birthday party 2.5 years later in Oct. of 2022 and we leave it all in God's hands. We re-met our granddaughters, one I had a bond with, previous and it was very hard - yet God was so close on that day and is with us every time we are together. It's always so fun to be with our grandkids and He sees to it that it's beautiful. Birthday parties, mostly away from home and a few events scattered between. Fluff chatter. We just go with it. He and his life changed after he married and we have loved and supported them with all our hearts and do not put any pressure on our kids. Never did. They are extremely independent. Both of our oldest (we have three, son, daughter, son) married into huge families and our life is very much like My Big Fat Greek Wedding in terms of not being the family considered. It's been heartbreaking, but there is nothing we can do but to keep being ourselves and keep going. We feel our son really wanted to come back on his own accord, because we didn't scream and yell and fight our way back into his life (it's just not us and we didn't really know what happened - it all felt so spiritual - like a battle the whole world was having) and we see and feel that he doesn't have support. His in-laws are a first priority and that's something that only he can deal with. I was a good friend to his wife, still love her and try with a guarded heart to be a friend, give her my schedule if she needs anything or would like me to help or watch the girls - but between get togethers, which are very cordial - it's dead silence. It's kinda like an ocd with her and her family and you can feel it from all of them, and her sisters. It's very different. We believe they will "all" be moving somewhere together eventually - like a compound, for lack of a better word. All I know is that we love our children. They are a gift from God and they are only ours to raise up until a certain point. They are always His first. It was a privilege to be their mom and although I'll always be their mom - they have their life and He has His plans for them. He has His plans for all of us to live out our individual purpose. God Bless you and keep you on this journey. ox
I'm happy to hear there is a relationship again, especially for you and your granddaughters. It seems you are in Oregon from one of your posts I read? Where? Hubby and I met there and our son was born in Tualatin. Beautiful state when not raining!
We take what we are given and consider it a blessing.
I'm actually in SoCal and my mom and brother are in Oregon. I know of Tualatin. My best friend lived close to there, but moved to Boise, ID, after her husband suddenly passed away just before the pandemic. My brother left Las Vegas, after 30 years to be near my mom after my dad passed, since she didn't want to move to SoCal (can't blame her). Can you imagine going from Vegas to a town of 3,000 and rain, rain, rain! He would send me the funniest videos standing outside in the rain wondering if it would ever stop!
Hubby is from SoCal and after Oregon, we lived in Corona 1998-2003. I cannot imagine Vegas to small town rainy Oregon. Very wonderful of him.
Where in SoCal is your hubby from? Corona? That’s not far from us. And yes, sadly, my brother’s life collapsed so they both needed each other. It’s working out for now. I pray a lot for him to feel happier. It would help mom. I’m going to fly up and get her for a few months soon.
And just recently, the Lord reminded me that the scripture says “the joy of the Lord is your strength“.
I think I have believed erroneously, that because I am strong, I have joy. When I am able to withstand discouragement, or some attack of the enemy, that is when I have joy. When things seem easy, and I feel strong, that’s when I have joy.
But that is exactly opposite of what the scripture says. The scripture says it is His joy that gives us strength. It seems like an insignificant detail, but I don’t think so. I think it is profound.
So now I am determined to seek and find the ways to access His joy. And I know in turn, that will give me strength to do the things He has given me to do. 
Hi! I clicked on your link from C&C and have read your posts up to this point.
I’m so sorry for your loss here on earth, and the grief you must go through now, but here’s what I have learned:
1)No death is a “tragedy” for Christians, because as you said, the Lord is Sovereign and is good and makes no mistakes. He is perfect and His timing is perfect.
That doesn’t mean we don’t suffer or grieve - Jesus certainly did. It means we can take comfort in knowing that it wasn’t unexpected for the Lord. No death takes him by surprise. There is a Plan and according to Jeremiah, His plans for us are good.
2). God knows more than us. When my brother went through an unexpected loss, his comment to God was that his friend had died too soon. Through a series of questions that God asked him in his heart, my brother came to the conclusion that he had put himself in the seat that God belonged in. My brother wanted to determine when someone would be allowed to die, and that he would only feel satisfied with the very old dying.  you are correct that the scripture tells us that our days are numbered by God. He has a purpose and his plans are above our plans. 
I believe that God’s reasons for taking Morgan home when he did would be too numerous to explain to any of us. I believe that is one of the ways his plans are above our plans. There are so many, and they are so interconnected that we can’t fathom all of them.
3) We must keep an eternal mindset. What is God’s greatest desire? My husband teaches our children that God‘s greatest desire is to live with you forever. Wouldn’t you agree? That is the most important decision anyone makes in their whole life? To accept Jesus Christ as their personal Lord and Savior? To know that they will live with God forever? 
Being a Christian means being in the kingdom of God, either here, on the Earth, or in heaven. God is building his kingdom in heaven and currently, His last days army here on the earth. How does he build his kingdom in heaven? He brings believers home. Morgan needed to be in heaven more than she needed to be here, according to the Lord. And Morgan leaving the Earth advanced the kingdom on the Earth. Ex: People are being drawn to him through her passing. People are growing in their faith, or seeking out a relationship with Him to deal with their grief. Or praying for you and your family, which brings them to their knees, and into the throne room of God. Participating in intercession. 
4). God has good plans for you through Morgan’s passing. “ for I know the plans that I have for you declares the lord. Plans for your good, and not for your evil. To give you a future and a hope. ”. This is the scripture I mentioned from Jeremiah, and I probably got some of it wrong a little bit, but you can look it up. The Lord desires for you to “know the height and depth and breadth of the Lords love for you”. For you to “seek Him, and Him be found by you”, for you know the “joy of the Lord is your strength” and so many other truths. To continue growing in him, and my understanding is that the best way, (and his way is the best), is for Morgan to come home to Him.  he knew that is what would be best for you, and all the other people who are affected. It almost seems blasphemous to say, but God doesn’t do anything wrong. His ways are perfect. And he’s only working for all of our good. It’s hard to fathom, perhaps, but that is what I have learned. And it gives me comfort and hope to know that.  even if it is a painful truth, I don’t trust my own judgment above his judgment.
I hope this has helped you in someway. And I will pray for you as you come to mind. I also would tell you, from someone who son has walked away from the Lord, that I would rather have had him die as a Christian, knowing he was in heaven, than to spend a lifetime with him on the Earth, knowing I’ll never see him again after his earthly life was over. . We pray daily for him to return to the Lord, even if we never get to see him again here on the Earth.
Rejoice, my sister! For your name is written in the lambs book of life! Rejoice and again, I say rejoice! I encourage you to spend some time and worship. Thanking the Lord for all that He is. Agreeing with the Psalmist. Perhaps reading some of the psalms and declaring truth about who God is and that he is right. That there is no shifting shadow in him, as the Bible says. He is good. He is good. He is good. Amen. 
Thank you, Rosie. I agree with all you said and my first counseling session after her passing, the counselor said exactly that. God knows what is best. Either you believe and have faith in that or not. I do. It doesn't take away the pain of losing her, but it helps to know He knows all and I don't.
I'm terrible at quoting scripture, but I know the words. We seem dimly. I believe that. I especially agree with your point number 3.
Thank you again for commenting and your prayers for me when I come to mind.