Strength?
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Hello. I’ve decided that every post, which won’t be every day, I’ll embed or link to a song. Music has always been huge in my life and this singer, Lauren Daigle, is one of my favorites. We had the pleasure of seeing her in concert last year and felt this was her best song that night. I’d never seen the official video until a couple days ago, and couldn’t believe it had the hospital room pictures. I’ve listened to this song many times since December 23rd.
Many of you who read the Day 1 post, reached out to me and told me how strong I am for being able to take my grief in such a positive direction (already?) I agree, but the strength is not my own. All of you who are continuing to pray are the ones asking God to hold me up and He just is.
Several also reached out to say that my post helped them with their own grief, still there day after day in their own lives. Thank you for letting me know. None of us ever imagined we’d lose a husband, wife, son, or daughter “early.” We never imagined we’d lose parents within weeks of each other.
That brings me to what I’ve really begun struggling with, and if you have comments about what I’m about to write, I’d love your input. It’s the “why” question? I don’t feel angry at God because I know Mo is with Him in heaven where there are no more tears and no more pain. For her I’m happy. I don’t know why He wanted her at age 24, why her “purpose” was now done. I was told that the Bible declares in Job 14:5 “Our time on earth is brief; the number of our days is already decided by you.” God knew the day she was born, March 14, 1998, that she would be done on December 23, 2022? Doesn’t that make it God’s will? It’s hard to accept that it is God’s will that she only got to live until age 24. Why? I don’t get it. I trust God. I believe God, but to say it is God’s will doesn’t seem right. I’m struggling with it big time.
But not knowing is one thing and it’s okay to struggle with the question. Faith. Believe. As you saw on my first post, He’s in the details and I trust He is omnipotent and I am not. He has a view of all eternity and I do not. Rock 4 and I discussed this Monday and she said it’s like the tapestry story and reminded me of it. Down here on earth, we are seeing the back side of a huge tapestry with little cut threads of color sticking out all over the place. It doesn’t look like much. Up in heaven, the tapestry is seen from the other direction. Each part has its piece, its thread, making it into a beautiful picture.
To make Morgan’s death have meaning to me, I have to do everything I can to make any good that I can see come from it. It is the only way I can move forward and live with it and not die from it myself.
And just recently, the Lord reminded me that the scripture says “the joy of the Lord is your strength“.
I think I have believed erroneously, that because I am strong, I have joy. When I am able to withstand discouragement, or some attack of the enemy, that is when I have joy. When things seem easy, and I feel strong, that’s when I have joy.
But that is exactly opposite of what the scripture says. The scripture says it is His joy that gives us strength. It seems like an insignificant detail, but I don’t think so. I think it is profound.
So now I am determined to seek and find the ways to access His joy. And I know in turn, that will give me strength to do the things He has given me to do. 
Hi! I clicked on your link from C&C and have read your posts up to this point.
I’m so sorry for your loss here on earth, and the grief you must go through now, but here’s what I have learned:
1)No death is a “tragedy” for Christians, because as you said, the Lord is Sovereign and is good and makes no mistakes. He is perfect and His timing is perfect.
That doesn’t mean we don’t suffer or grieve - Jesus certainly did. It means we can take comfort in knowing that it wasn’t unexpected for the Lord. No death takes him by surprise. There is a Plan and according to Jeremiah, His plans for us are good.
2). God knows more than us. When my brother went through an unexpected loss, his comment to God was that his friend had died too soon. Through a series of questions that God asked him in his heart, my brother came to the conclusion that he had put himself in the seat that God belonged in. My brother wanted to determine when someone would be allowed to die, and that he would only feel satisfied with the very old dying.  you are correct that the scripture tells us that our days are numbered by God. He has a purpose and his plans are above our plans. 
I believe that God’s reasons for taking Morgan home when he did would be too numerous to explain to any of us. I believe that is one of the ways his plans are above our plans. There are so many, and they are so interconnected that we can’t fathom all of them.
3) We must keep an eternal mindset. What is God’s greatest desire? My husband teaches our children that God‘s greatest desire is to live with you forever. Wouldn’t you agree? That is the most important decision anyone makes in their whole life? To accept Jesus Christ as their personal Lord and Savior? To know that they will live with God forever? 
Being a Christian means being in the kingdom of God, either here, on the Earth, or in heaven. God is building his kingdom in heaven and currently, His last days army here on the earth. How does he build his kingdom in heaven? He brings believers home. Morgan needed to be in heaven more than she needed to be here, according to the Lord. And Morgan leaving the Earth advanced the kingdom on the Earth. Ex: People are being drawn to him through her passing. People are growing in their faith, or seeking out a relationship with Him to deal with their grief. Or praying for you and your family, which brings them to their knees, and into the throne room of God. Participating in intercession. 
4). God has good plans for you through Morgan’s passing. “ for I know the plans that I have for you declares the lord. Plans for your good, and not for your evil. To give you a future and a hope. ”. This is the scripture I mentioned from Jeremiah, and I probably got some of it wrong a little bit, but you can look it up. The Lord desires for you to “know the height and depth and breadth of the Lords love for you”. For you to “seek Him, and Him be found by you”, for you know the “joy of the Lord is your strength” and so many other truths. To continue growing in him, and my understanding is that the best way, (and his way is the best), is for Morgan to come home to Him.  he knew that is what would be best for you, and all the other people who are affected. It almost seems blasphemous to say, but God doesn’t do anything wrong. His ways are perfect. And he’s only working for all of our good. It’s hard to fathom, perhaps, but that is what I have learned. And it gives me comfort and hope to know that.  even if it is a painful truth, I don’t trust my own judgment above his judgment.
I hope this has helped you in someway. And I will pray for you as you come to mind. I also would tell you, from someone who son has walked away from the Lord, that I would rather have had him die as a Christian, knowing he was in heaven, than to spend a lifetime with him on the Earth, knowing I’ll never see him again after his earthly life was over. . We pray daily for him to return to the Lord, even if we never get to see him again here on the Earth.
Rejoice, my sister! For your name is written in the lambs book of life! Rejoice and again, I say rejoice! I encourage you to spend some time and worship. Thanking the Lord for all that He is. Agreeing with the Psalmist. Perhaps reading some of the psalms and declaring truth about who God is and that he is right. That there is no shifting shadow in him, as the Bible says. He is good. He is good. He is good. Amen.