Up Then Down Then Something Sweet

Nightly Gathering Open Thread Post 173

The day started out great: I was very busy with work, I was on the good side of the recent “total eclipse of the heart”, and all these recent beautiful things in nature appearing that I equate to Morgan being near me.

We could not get away until after noon for our walk, and although very hot and humid, I went anyway. Just out my back door, a blue butterfly that looked like the ones from the last couple of days flew very close back and forth then attached itself to the wall. I'm sure it must have also happened in the past, but it sure gets noticed and appreciated now.

We headed for The Spot and hoped for the best. For part of it, the sun was behind clouds which helped a lot, and I also cut a good ten minutes off the route we usually take.

While walking I finished up the podcast from yesterday and had an old playlist on YouTube of old song favorites lined up to finish us out. At The Spot, I talked to God and Morgan, and thanked them for letting me see her in a way that seems to be working for me. I am pretty sure none of it is Biblical and in time I think I'll study it. If it doesn't specifically claim something about signs, then maybe I am free to explore it. Unlike others who don't care about truth, it IS VERY IMPORTANT to me.

As I said to one of my friends who commented on last night's post, the idea of the cardinal representing people who passed had to get started for some reason (and often enough that the idea became cultural).

The reason I wanted these songs today is because these were the ones I played in the car a lot when Mo and I were traveling to or from a tournament alone. (We usually were with others, but not every time.) I just wanted to replay some memories.

The song “And She Was” by The Talking Heads came on, and by golly, it fit right in with my current “sense” of things. (It doesn't matter to me in this case what the writer of the song intended it be about. People enjoy music for their own reasons)

“And She Was"

Hey!

And she was lying in the grass
And she could hear the highway breathing
And she could see a nearby factory
She's making sure she is not dreaming
See the lights of a neighbor's house
Now she's starting to rise
Take a minute to concentrate
And she opens up her eyes

The world was moving and she was
Right there with it, and she was
The world was moving, she was
Floating above it, and she was
And she was

And she was drifting through the backyard
And she was taking off her dress
And she was moving very slowly
Rising up above the earth
Moving into the universe
And she's drifting this way and that
Not touching the ground at all
And she's up above the yard

The world was moving, and she was right there with it
And she was
Hey, hey
The world was moving, she was floating above it
And she was
Hey, hey, hey

And she was glad about it, no doubt about it
She isn't sure about what she's done
No time to think about what to tell them
No time to think about what she's done
And she was
Hey, he-hey, hey!

And she was looking at herself
And things were looking like a movie
She had a pleasant elevation
She's moving out in all directions, oh, oh, oh

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey (hey)
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey

The world was moving, she was right there with it
And she was
The world was moving, she was floating above it
And she was

Joining the world of missing persons
And she was (hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey)
Missing enough to feel alright
And she was, ha, ha

And she was
And she was
And she was
And she was
And she was, hey, hey
And she was
And she was
And she was

Not long after I got home, a package was delivered which, although I didn't go into a tailspin, definitely opened up a place that had bled hard and was now scarred. It made me feel ill, not happy. I texted with a very loved and valuable person who has been mentioned in these posts in the past. She validated the way I was feeling which helped a lot. I need some more information before I can correctly process it and write about it, however.

An hour ago when hubby and I were on our couches just after eating dinner, I got hot and turned on the ceiling fan. Immediately there was a sweet smell which began emanating. I said, “What's that?” He said, I don't know, but I smell it, too “ Pause. “Are you cooking something?”

No! It smelled like a yellow cake baking. Of course I said, “Morgan, is that you somehow?”

Hubby didn't roll his eyes (thankfully haha), but he had no explanation.

That's life after losing a daughter. A completely different life where everything is bounced off the fact that I can not see her or spend time with her in the physical world. Yes, this is part of how I cope.

And God confirmed the message by giving signs and wonders and various miracles and gifts of the Holy Spirit whenever he chose.

Hebrews 2:4 NLT