Thank you, Joanie! I was blessed by your text this morning indicating you were praying for our family today, and again this evening when I read your post. It was SO kind of you to post what I wrote three years ago. Yes, we have done this for these last few years! We’ve been touched by some of the conversations we’ve had with the recipients of our gifts given in Cullen’s honor.
I have one friend who has remained faithful to contact me every year on Cullen’s birthday. She’d never contacted me on his birthday prior to his death, but she has done so faithfully since his death. We don’t live in the same city, have little to no contact throughout the year, but I cannot express how much it means to me each year to hear from her on Cullen’s birthday! And it hurts that his own brothers either don’t remember his birthday ( or maybe don’t realize the date of today…by that, I mean they know it is Tuesday, but they are not necessarily date oriented). If his brothers don’t remember, why in the world should I expect others to remember?
As Joanie noted in the title of her post, every bereaved parent wants to hear their child’s name! If you remember an interaction you had with their child, or have a memory you shared with that child, share that with the bereaved parent. Rather than making them sad ( they are already sad), you give them a tremendous gift when you say their child’s name. It is like music to their ears because it means you remember their child. A bereaved parent’s worse nightmare is that their child will be forgotten. As Joanie so wisely stated, “Say Their Name!”
Susan, thanks to Joanie's guest post of your "Have You Not Heard..." post I was able to offer bits or your perspective to a fairly new bereaved mom here at work. Isaiah 40:31 has always been one of my favorite verses but it strikes different after reading your perspective. Thank you for that!
It helps to know that we aren't alone on this journey. As strange as it sounds, it also helps to know that we aren't alone with our nightmares because it also means we can share in each other's successes as we walk this road.
Thank you for you kind comment about my post that Joanie shared. I am SO glad that you were able to see Isaiah 40:31 from a new perspective and communicate that to a newly bereaved coworker! That is exactly what each one of us is charged to do….to comfort those with the same comfort with which we have been comforted!
I loved the fact that this young woman, Jessica, acknowledged the loss of your son, TJ, and stepped out of her comfort zone to do so. Most people would have said, “It’s great to see you! It’s been quite awhile!” Jessica did what every bereaved parent hopes for in each encounter; she said the name of that child whose name you rarely hear anymore. And the tears are ALWAYS just below the surface. I think they spill over from gratitude rather than from sorrow, because we have been given a gift!
I also thought it was so interesting that she said, “I can’t imagine…” the title of Joanie's grief journal. And truly she cannot, nor does she want to.
While the journey is different for every one of us, there are certainly some things we have in common…please say his/her name.
We have a Peer Support Group, Wrenched Hearts, at work specifically for bereaved parents and it amazes me how pieces of every parent's story resonate with everyone in the room and we can all benefit by sharing our stories and saying, or hearing, our children's names!
I'm so happy your friend reaches out every year, and that you've kept up the tradition. How wonderful it will be in your life review one day to see the ripple effects.
Such a beautiful post, tears are flowing.❤️
Thank you; I appreciate your kindness.
ditto
Thank you so much.
Susan has a way with words!
Love you, my friend. I so appreciate your introducing me to your readers. And like you, I do so love words!🤗
Thank you, Joanie! I was blessed by your text this morning indicating you were praying for our family today, and again this evening when I read your post. It was SO kind of you to post what I wrote three years ago. Yes, we have done this for these last few years! We’ve been touched by some of the conversations we’ve had with the recipients of our gifts given in Cullen’s honor.
I have one friend who has remained faithful to contact me every year on Cullen’s birthday. She’d never contacted me on his birthday prior to his death, but she has done so faithfully since his death. We don’t live in the same city, have little to no contact throughout the year, but I cannot express how much it means to me each year to hear from her on Cullen’s birthday! And it hurts that his own brothers either don’t remember his birthday ( or maybe don’t realize the date of today…by that, I mean they know it is Tuesday, but they are not necessarily date oriented). If his brothers don’t remember, why in the world should I expect others to remember?
As Joanie noted in the title of her post, every bereaved parent wants to hear their child’s name! If you remember an interaction you had with their child, or have a memory you shared with that child, share that with the bereaved parent. Rather than making them sad ( they are already sad), you give them a tremendous gift when you say their child’s name. It is like music to their ears because it means you remember their child. A bereaved parent’s worse nightmare is that their child will be forgotten. As Joanie so wisely stated, “Say Their Name!”
Thank you again, Joanie. ❤️
Susan, thanks to Joanie's guest post of your "Have You Not Heard..." post I was able to offer bits or your perspective to a fairly new bereaved mom here at work. Isaiah 40:31 has always been one of my favorite verses but it strikes different after reading your perspective. Thank you for that!
I don't want to hijack Joanie's comments section but I also wrote something about what a gift it is for people to remember. https://findyourharbor.com/an-unexpected-gift/
It helps to know that we aren't alone on this journey. As strange as it sounds, it also helps to know that we aren't alone with our nightmares because it also means we can share in each other's successes as we walk this road.
Hi Roger!
Thank you for you kind comment about my post that Joanie shared. I am SO glad that you were able to see Isaiah 40:31 from a new perspective and communicate that to a newly bereaved coworker! That is exactly what each one of us is charged to do….to comfort those with the same comfort with which we have been comforted!
I loved the fact that this young woman, Jessica, acknowledged the loss of your son, TJ, and stepped out of her comfort zone to do so. Most people would have said, “It’s great to see you! It’s been quite awhile!” Jessica did what every bereaved parent hopes for in each encounter; she said the name of that child whose name you rarely hear anymore. And the tears are ALWAYS just below the surface. I think they spill over from gratitude rather than from sorrow, because we have been given a gift!
I also thought it was so interesting that she said, “I can’t imagine…” the title of Joanie's grief journal. And truly she cannot, nor does she want to.
While the journey is different for every one of us, there are certainly some things we have in common…please say his/her name.
We have a Peer Support Group, Wrenched Hearts, at work specifically for bereaved parents and it amazes me how pieces of every parent's story resonate with everyone in the room and we can all benefit by sharing our stories and saying, or hearing, our children's names!
https://findyourharbor.com/repairing-my-heart/ (the story of Wrenched Hearts)
Hijack away. I love the post in the link you shared.
I'm so happy your friend reaches out every year, and that you've kept up the tradition. How wonderful it will be in your life review one day to see the ripple effects.
The best is when you get a new story that you didn't know. What a beautiful tribute to your son .. and you know he would appreciate it
Yes, it is! And Cullen would have appreciated it very much!
What a beautiful post!
Thank you; I love your name.🤗
How beautiful, how caring, what a lovely and touching tribute. God bless these dear parents.
Thank you for you kind comments.