Nightly Gathering Open Thread Post 18
Today I decided to try to describe what the grief feels like now and the best I can come up with is like constant low anxiety. I'm not panicky, but it's that feeling any parent has when they know their kid is struggling with something in their life, that they are sad or hurt. You just feel for them and think about them or their situation a lot. It's that feeling pretty continually with moments of real sadness popping in when something reminds me of her, even just taking a vitamin. Morgan was a pretty health conscious young adult, so that did it.
Pass this substack link on to anybody anywhere who you feel may benefit. Sleep well!
So the older siblings thought/think Tim went to hell and not heaven because he commented suicide, at age 19? How did they come up with that? I am going to pray that they see the truth! God knows us all intimately and knew every struggle Tim faced and how his brain processed them. I love that the pastor told you that and I agree! God also knew/knows that you, his mom, would be told the truth, to give you some peace in your grief. Thank you very much for sharing that, Gigi.
My 19 yo son was dabbling with drugs and did not seem to have any risk aversion/impulse control wrt drugs. After he visited me at Christmas 2019 and I saw his countenance (lost eyes), I worried intensely about him every single day, constantly.... I worried I would get a phone call that he was maimed or brain damaged, or in jail for vehicular homicide.... I have a nephew that hit a tree driving drunk when he was 17 and is severely handicapped with a traumatic brain injury.
I am ashamed to say that among shock and grief when I did get the phone call in Feb 2020 that he had died from nitrous oxide asphyxiation, I also felt relief. I would never have to worry about him again. He is at peace. His tormented soul is finally healed and free. He won't kill anyone or cause a future wife and children pain and distress by continuing to descend down the path he was taking....