Lately I’ve been feeling pretty bad. I’m sure when I’m around people they have little insight into the pain my heart is actually in. That’s a blessing.
First, hubby is doing REALLY WELL, and we could not be more grateful for the thoughts and prayers for us. Thank you!! We know how blessed we are even in this circumstance. I feel 100% certain that this obstacle is just that - an obstacle. Like with Mo’s passing, at least just a little bit of good has come from it. Sorry, no particulars for you.
Back to my heart and soul. Life is just so much different. In a sense it is unexplainable unless you’ve experienced the loss of a child. I know several of you reading this can relate. Those of you who have lost loving significant others can also deeply relate I’m sure.
As much as I know that Morgan is in God's perfect loving presence, which is the only thing that gives me peace, each and every day there is an extreme loss. Once in a while I turn on her phone and go through her pictures, pretty much from her freshman year of high school forward. She had a good time! For that I am thankful. She also sometimes took pictures of photos she found particularly meaningful of her childhood.
This year is so different from last year. I had all those strange metaphysical occurances, none of which happen anymore, although I definitely get an enormous share of Great Blue Heron visitations on my walks or driving, the bird I equate with her presence. (not in a reincarnation type of way)
In addition, I was very focused on getting The Rebel’s Hike published in all its various formats last year, which felt like such a positive thing. I have no idea how God plans to use it, but I am EXTREMELY thankful to those who subscribed to The Rebel’s Hike Continues ( my other substack) and especially for listening to the chapters posted Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, and liking them. I get a needed emotional boost when that happens.
It’s fun to use Co-Pilot A.I. to create a picture which encapsulates each chapter. Sometimes it takes up to 20 minutes to try to get it to do what I’m asking, and I have given up before!
Back to my downcast heart….
A young man, in his 30s, I worked with daily in India, got into a motorcycle accident on Monday. He was in critical condition, basically brain dead, and they let him pass today. I am so so sad for his family. I am so so sad, not understanding completely if he is in heaven. I pray there was a way for him to recognize and accept Jesus during his death experience. He was a really really good guy and I will miss him. I try to envision that Morgan might have been in his welcoming party!
I am thankful for my life, but I am also sad. I am thankful that my daughter does not have to endure the tribulations of Earth, but I sure do miss her.
Thank you for reading!!!!!!!!
Joan, I just came to say thank you for writing. I have already mentioned that I have recently lost my beloved sister and I understand grief from that perspective. I fight with sadness all the time. I feel like it will always be a part of me now (the fighting back sadness). I am always encouraged by your writings. I hope my post encourages you too. Much love from a New Mexico friend. Debbie. - 🙏 God, please send more blessings to my friend and lighten her heart. AMEN.
Oh Joanie,
I am so sorry to learn of the recent loss of your friend in India. Maybe you will have an opportunity to minister to his parents in some way.
Glad your hubby is doing well! I know that is a relief fur both of you.
I identify with so much of what you have written. This past Tuesday marked 12 years since Cullen’s death. While we experience both peace and acceptance in this season, the missing is always there. We speak of him a lot within our family circle and quote many of his “one liners”. You would have like him! I hope that perhaps he and Morgan have met and shared some good talks.