Spring is Coming

Post 267

I don't want too much time to go by without posting something, so tonight I’ll write about the things I’ve been thinking about lately.

It was a beautiful low 60s day here today, and my walk to The Spot was very nice. (New readers, it's a secret yet public place containg a small container of some of Morgan’s ashes.) On my way there, I really noticed how much the trees have started budding, and I saw my first butterfly (or moth). I was too far away, but it looked pale yellow.

I’m still in a mostly good space these days, especially when I think about how I was feeling this time last year. I think I may have cried a bucket full of tears in 2023, whereas this year, maybe a shot glass so far. Sadness seeps into the day at some point, but it generally doesn't draw the tears. It is more like the homesick feeling. I say to myself each time, “but she’s so happy now” and that helps me move forward. I still would welcome death if God decided my time was up, but I’m pretty sure I’ve still got purpose here for awhile.

We talked about suffering in a woman’s Bible study I’ve gone to this year, and tonight while some of the stories were being shared, I kept picturing the metaphor of a tapestry that Rock 4 had told me about very early on after Mo passed.

God in his omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent state, the Alpha and the Omega, is still busy creating a gorgeous tapestry that he sees right-side up from up above. Each of us are threads and he’s using us to create exactly what he wants. He sees it, but all we see is a tangled, snippy mess from below the tapestry. What in the world? We will see it one day, however, if we accept His gift and choose Him and honor Him over choosing ourselves. The women seemed to appreciate the analogy, so I thought I’d share it.

I have many thoughts as to the “why Mo had to go.” Just why? But I will not ever know while I’m on this Earth. It looks like a black and grey knotted snippy mess to me.

I’ve pretty much finished self-editing my book now, and will be emailing it to the several people who are willing to critique it for me in this “finished” state. The ones who got the really raw and even unfinished versions were huge encouragers and I want to thank them again by first names: Sarah, Michele, Marilyn, & Marissa. The book is giving me something positive to look forward to.

I guess that’s it, folks. I definitely still miss the interaction with those who like to comment and I hope and pray all is going well!