Sisterhood in Christ

If you have read any of the short Nightly Gathering entries I have put up this week, you’ll remember that last Sunday was difficult because we went back to Birmingham to get more of Morgan’s things.  It affected me a lot to pack up her bathroom (personal) things and her food items. Not only do I hold fond memories of our many trips to various Aldis together (West Chester, OH, Birmingham, Huntsville), but she was also a “foodie.”  She used to love to watch some of those food challenge shows and was excited when she cooked something new and it turned out well.  It just REALLY MADE ME MISS HER!

Tuesday night it was like I couldn’t shake it. One of the coaches from Ohio Valley Beach had texted me the picture of the banner that will hang in their facility earlier in the day.  It looks amazing.  Hopefully I have inserted it correctly on this post. (keep reading below banner)

As I was trying to sleep that night, I was thinking about it and the good times we had during those years, and knowing I can never reminisce with her about them again.  I texted the friend who had called me on my way taking my son up to Nashville for his flight (in the first long post) because she at least could feel a tad bit of what I was feeling, since her daughter and Morgan were partners many times on our road trips.  As God would have it, even though it was probably past her bedtime in EST (about 10:15 pm CST), she did text back immediately with her sadness as well, and in the lag time while she was texting something else, I guess I decided to document what was the worst/saddest moment of my entire life. I literally typed a note into my phone: “I have never felt so alone on this earth as I do in this moment.” (10:25 pm CST). Probably a weird thing to do, but I think I picked up typing notes into my phone from Morgan as well.

My friend’s follow-up texts started arriving, part of which said, “He is with you.  He will bring you out, I think in the book of Job it says when his faith was tested he came forth as gold. He will bring you thru keep leaning on the Lord….Believing He will heal your heart and fill you with hope.  Bring you peace when your heart is overwhelmed with grief….”  Then she also quoted in Psalms 40:1-3 NLT. “I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry.2 He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along.
3 He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God.  Many will see what he has done and be amazed.  They will put their trust in the Lord.”

I cannot say an overwhelming peace came over my body, but I can say I was no longer despondent after reading those. Sad but not despondent. Thank you, Lord for using my friend to reach me!

That is an example of this post’s topic.  I have received so much love from my sisters in Christ, both old and new.  My old longtime childhood friend who reached out with a card, even though we had shut our friendship down over a decade ago (that was at the end of Post 1), my best friend from when I lived in Oregon has sent both a beautiful arrangement of flowers, several texts, and now a birthday food gift basket.  My Rock2, Rock3, Rock4, and Rock5 all love the Lord and seek His ways.  My new in 2022 pottery friend and I realized we both grew up Lutheran, although neither of us belong to that denomination anymore.  She is very encouraging to me!  One of the Graces of Gurley women volunteers, whom I barely know, gifted me a book from Nancy Guthrie called “The One Year Book of Hope.” Another Graces of Gurley friend gifted me a book called “Hope When it Hurts,” and my sister in Christ, the hometown high school friend who posted about my loss on Facebook which culminated in texts I needed at just that time (also first post) gifted my husband and me a book, “Broken Walk, Experiencing God After the Loss of a Child” by Gary Roe.  Each of these sisters wants to make sure I know God is with me.  He is with me in every detail.  Other of God’s sons and daughters have continued to reach out as well. All I can say is thank you for keeping me in your prayers!

However….even with all of that, my countenance suffered and I finally realized why Wednesday night into Thursday morning.  My birthday is tomorrow, Saturday, January 21st.  Even typing this puts a lump in my throat.  I just cannot have my birthday this year.  Morgan would wake up and first thing and say it or text it (as distance became reality).  She never waited until later in the day; it was always first thing.  If I can’t hear it from her, I just don’t want to hear it at all this year.  Nothing about it is a ‘HAPPY’ birthday.  I just suffered the closer it came this week.  I finally told my husband about mid-day yesterday and it felt good to let it out and tell him my plan to ignore it.  He is okay with that.  I also told my counselor yesterday and she validated my need to ignore it, too.  I texted a few people who would possibly wish me a Happy Birthday and told them to ignore it, as well.  I doubt any of my friends in Huntsville know it is my birthday.

We have to get through mine, my son’s in February, and both Morgan’s and my husband’s in March.

As always, remember to share this substack journal with anybody you feel could need it.  I hope a community forms where we can help each other heal.  Enjoy your weekend.