For the past ten days, since our good news, I have felt good (hopeful), but yesterday was Friday and I was unbusy around 8:25 in the morning when I happened to notice the time in the bottom right of my monitor.
I immediately started envisioning that awful Friday almost a year ago now, and that my beautiful daughter was likely already out of this world - they just hadn't called it yet. It made me miss her so so deeply, and now writing about it again, the tears are dripping down my cheeks.
Fridays are a good day to be crying because I rarely have meetings. I decided I wanted to look at pictures of her, which except for the few placed around the house, I don't do that often. This kept the tears running, but I needed to cry. I honestly think if I have many good days in a row, it still builds up in my heart and has to be released.
She was such a fun child. She always had me on my toes. Full of energy, full of life. Had to keep up with and then try to surpass her big brother. She excelled in anything in which she had interest, and she knew her weaknesses. She was very unique, beautiful, funny, smart, but didn't try to follow the crowd. If she didn't have interest, she was more than willing to be alone, or with our, or eventually her own pets instead.
Here are some of the pictures I looked at. I think I’m going to go ahead and frame some of these for when we’re both ready to see them near where her clothes quilts are hung. These are all prints, not digital. Almost all “later in her life” pictures started out digital and were not made into prints.
First, these are the pictures around the house that I can see daily. Some are in the office, two in the great room, a couple in the kitchen.
These are just a few of the ones I looked at yesterday and may eventually display.
This morning on one of the websites I have visited a lot since 2015, they reposted an essay I’ve read several times through the past years that sums things up very well for me. The author, Sundance, incredulously allows anything to be taken from his site. I am at least linking at the bottom of today's post, however.
https://theconservativetreehouse.com/
Joanie,
You have a precious and beautiful family! Thank you for posting these photos so we can get a glimpse of Morgan as she grew. I loved the first one with her holding the “parasol” and so dressed to the nines! One day, you will be able to look at all the photos and recall the best memories…and while the grief is always there, it is not quite so overwhelming. Thinking of you often, my friend. ❤️
Morgan was so beautiful Joan! ❤️