Not This but That

I’ve been mulling over what I thought I’d write about this weekend for my longer post and was set on it before the hike I took this morning, which was to the Bethel Creek waterfall, which is running very thin.  More than a trickle, but not much more. (No chance for a Great Blue Heron - GBH here)

I started hiking at about 8:45 am and the temp was 70 degrees.  There were already two cars in the parking lot, which I was glad about because with earlier morning hikes if I’m the first, I’ll get nailed with spider webs spun across the path during the night. I could tell by my dog’s sniffing constantly that one of these people had a dog.  There are two possibilities to start walking right from the parking lot. One is a path behind some trees and the other is more obvious right from the parking lot.  I’ve taken both but today decided on the one behind the trees, mostly because that is where it was shadiest to park the car and thus closest.

Just a few minutes into the walk from this entrance, a nice bright red cardinal or two (it happened so fast) flew across the path into the trees.  I didn’t know whether to think about them as a “hello” from Mo or my parents from their heavenly perches or not, but they didn’t stay on my mind.  I left my phone in the car today, so no podcast or music.  It was just me, the dog, nature, and anybody I’d see out there.

The first trail is known as the Carpenter Trail and about five minutes in, you can either stay on it and then go up on the Falling Sink Trail which is longer but not quite as steep as the other option, called the Mill Trail.  Usually for me, going up the Falling Sink and then down the Mill will take an hour.  Up and down the Mill is 45 minutes.  I wanted the shorter amount of time because I planned to put in some good yardwork today as well.

We passed a poo pile sitting right on the trail the other dog had left about halfway up.  Our girl always goes off to the side and it’s easy to bury with leaves. Pretty close to the top I felt a strain in my back.  Nothing popped, no sudden movement to cause an issue, but something happened, and my back began to hurt.  It wasn’t that much further, and it wasn’t THAT bad, so we went the few more minutes to the top, gazed at the waterfall for a minute, and turned around.

As we were barely on the way back down, a single millennial male had reached us, and we exchanged quick pleasantries.  He asked if I’d seen any sunglasses he’d lost yesterday, which I had not, but told him if I spotted them on the way down, I’d leave them on one of the two picnic tables by the parking lot.  I also told him the pile of dog poo he saw was not from my dog.  I couldn’t resist.  As a typical millennial would reply, he said, “Oh, no issues.”

My first thoughts on the way down had to do with what I was going to write about, which was about this series called “Alone” I’ve been watching and have become somewhat addicted. The brief synopsis of this reality show is that ten survivalists are dropped off on Vancouver Island, BC (seasons 1 and 2) with only ten personal items, plus a few safety items they all receive.  They live approximately three or four miles from each other as well, so per the title, each contestant is alone.  They are each given a satellite phone and can call to ‘tap out’ at any time.  Whoever stays the longest gets the $500,000 prize.  My thoughts turned to the show right then because they also get to keep and utilize whatever washes up on the shore.  Some came up with some very innovative uses of those unexpected treasures.  So the way they have to keep their eyes peeled for stuff they can use, I was going to “pretend I was ‘Alone’” for a bit and keep my eyes peeled for the man’s sunglasses, all the while thinking, “wow, those must be some pretty good sunglasses.  Oakley?  Designer?” Then, “Hmm, none of those people brought sunglasses as one of their personal items.” Then, “Wouldn’t it be cool if people who have passed on could somehow help you out with this kind of thing?”  I got to thinking about a time when my kids were thirteen and nine and I was going to drop them off at King’s Island Amusement Park (near Cincinnati where we lived at the time) for the afternoon so they could meet some friends there I guess.  I can no longer remember the details exactly, but I lost my cell phone.  The car I drove then had very very tight seats; not cushy where things could work their way down easily between the seat and back, or seat and sides.  I looked everywhere.  When I went back out to the car, there it was right on the driver’s seat.  So, I was sitting on it and couldn’t feel that?  Come on!  I immediately felt like an otherworldly force or spirit had placed my cell phone right where I could find it.  I told the kids and I’ve told a few people throughout the years.

So, I thought of that and well, maybe it would be really cool if these otherworldly forces either pointed me to these sunglasses or they were already on the picnic table when we reached it.  I was laughing to myself thinking, “Yeah, but if that actually happens, nobody will believe it.  I WOULDN’T BELIEVE IT. Too much is happening and it will really seem like you’re making this stuff up now.”  So, I also kind of hoped it didn’t happen.  How do you like being inside my silly brain?

My back wasn’t really hurting that much, but it wasn’t normal either.  For some more of the hike I began having thoughts about some new plot points for the book that “S” and I are working on, and I really liked my new ideas.  (Hiking is where I often get my ideas)

I reached the picnic tables and no, the sunglasses were not there.  In the car on the way back down this mountain, the scenery is really pretty at this one spot and I had a sudden thought. “I’m happy” but I immediately stuffed it down and said to myself, “You know, you might be happy RIGHT now, but you’ll NEVER be as happy as you once were.  You CAN NEVER be as happy as you once were.”  This is where the title of this post comes in.  Get ready!

The song was either already playing or began playing but I heard it.  This time lyrics first and then the link.

Mother and Child Reunion

Song by Paul Simon

No, I would not give you false hope
On this strange and mournful day
But the mother and child reunion
Is only a motion away

Oh, little darling of mine
I can't for the life of me
Remember a sadder day
I know they say let it be
But it just don't work out that way
And the course of a lifetime runs
Over and over again

No, I would not give you false hope (no)
On this strange and mournful day
But the mother and child reunion
Is only a motion away

Oh, little darling of mine
I just can't believe it's so
Though it seems strange to say
I never been laid so low
In such a mysterious way
And the course of a lifetime runs
Over and over again

But I would not give you false hope (no)
On this strange and mournful day
When the mother and child reunion
Is only a motion away

Oh, oh, the mother and child reunion
Is only a motion away
Oh, the mother and child reunion
Is only a moment away (oh oh)

Oh, the mother and child reunion
Is only a motion away
Oh (oh), the mother and child reunion
Is only a moment away

Oh, oh, the mother and child reunion
Oh, is only a motion away
Oh, the mother and child reunion
Is only a moment away (way, way, way)

This is a song from my childhood on up that I knew most of the words to without ever giving them a single thought.

Here I was saying to myself that I’ll never be that happy again, and God told me through this song that I was wrong.  I WILL be having that reunion (and maybe it won’t be the decades I imagine). Only a moment?

Pretty crazy, huh?

I got into the house, still not thinking about my backache that much, but it was enough for me to down a few Tylenol.  Being the studette I am, I forged ahead with my plans to water plants but the more I moved, the worse the pain became, and now I am sitting here with what feels like a giant cramp on the right side of my back.  If I suck in my abs (why would I?  To test my pain of course!) it hurts even worse.  I’ve used an ice pack now, took a hot shower, muscle cream, you name it.  As soon as I’m done writing, I’ll take some Advil this time and just lay down and binge watch the 3^rd season of ‘Alone’ I guess.

So, why am I digging this show so much?

It’s a microcosm of the goals the world makes us think we want and should strive for, compared to the more eternal goals of love and service.

$500,000 is a lot of money and can do wonders to fix or enhance people’s lives and those of their loved ones, FOR SURE.  Every now and then I would play the big jackpot Mega Millions or Powerball, just like a lot of people, and dream about never having financial stress, all the good in the world I’d do with that kind of money etc.   Once you suffer the kind of loss the death of a child brings, you understand that no amount of money in the world would ever satisfy the same as having her back.

The contestants both seasons all come to the same conclusion.  They are out there either hurting badly from hunger, cold, boredom, or frustration, but they have no other human to share the defeats and failures with. It hurts worse than they ever imagined it would.  There is no “two heads are better than one.” The successes aren’t as rewarding either.  They finally catch a fish after a few days without and then cook it up and have to eat it alone.  Nobody to share the good times with means they just aren’t as good as expected.

Although a few of the contestants tap out for injury or fear for their lives from wild animals, many end their journeys because they come to the conclusion that the money does not mean as much to them as they thought it did.  They realize their relationships are everything to them.  They don’t want to waste another minute taking their loved ones for granted.

But he’s already made it plain how to live, what to do,
    what God is looking for in men and women.
It’s quite simple: Do what is fair and just to your neighbor,
    be compassionate and loyal in your love,
And don’t take yourself too seriously—
    take God seriously.

Micah 6:8 MSG Translation