Nightly Gathering

Open Thread Post 108 - Paid Off

Hello! A very busy work morning again, which I definitely enjoy. I talked to hubby late morning, and when we talked about the schedule of this upcoming grief weekend, he apologized but let me know he's just not ready for this type of event. I knew when we signed up that there would be a 50% chance that we wouldn't end up going. He also said he's totally fine if I want to go alone, which didn't completely appeal to me.

I told him it's fine, we'll do it some other time. The Joanie of the past would have been disappointed and argued a bit, or a lot, for him to change his mind. But even I realize that the death of a child is the hardest thing in the world to process, and it wouldn't be the right thing to push in any way, so I didn't. I emailed the organization, and they were great and completely understand.

I took the dog for a walk around 130 for an hour. I saw a total of 3 great blue herons! The first two were in the same vicinity, and the third on the way back. I didn't feel Morgan, or feel “wowed” until the 3rd one, and it struck me that I have totally learned to live in the present. I felt that seeing the three GBH was a type of affirmation for being so full of grace for my husband's decision. I wasn't looking for an affirmation, but it was a gift.

I think that is a major lesson. Do the right thing just because it is the right thing. Do not expect a reward or even an affirmation, but God might surprise you & give you one anyway. I have always known this and tried to live my life that way (do your work FOR God), but until December, I was always one foot in the future and trying to control things. I'm very much more in the present now.

Here are the pics of the three GBH in order. They're pretty hard to see in these pictures.

I did get a second email from the organization who let me know that three other women will be there without their husbands, and I am welcome to come alone. I'm going to think and pray about it, but I'm leaning toward going.

Per last night's post and the Last Song, at the Celebration of Life, it continued on with this Angel's Response song. I didn't listen to it tonight before posting here.