Nightly Gathering

Open Thread Post 110 - Emotional day

Every grief stricken person tells you it goes in waves. One day you feel like you might live a fairly normal life (yesterday), then today it all hits like a ton of bricks again. I was crying by 830 am, perhaps anticipating the emotions of the grief retreat weekend. I half hoped that if I cried enough today, then I'd be all cried out. And crying is very draining. And today is 19 weeks since she left us. And it rained a lot today. A break in the weather around 3 and I forced myself out of the house to take my dog for a walk. No reason not to go by The Spot and tell Morgan what I would be doing this weekend, and I just need her death to mean something, and I miss her and love her.

I had the radio down listening to the GPS to get to the location about a half hour from my house. When I got there and parked, I could then faintly hear the song “Tears in Heaven” by Eric Clapton. That's pretty weird, huh?

I met the facilitators and other attendees. Of course everyone seems very nice. We had a nice dinner and then two of the dads shared the life/death stories of their deceased teenaged sons. Plenty of Kleenex was needed. That emotion was still front and center for me. At some point tomorrow it will be my turn to talk about Mo. We were told to bring a framed picture, which we pass around so we know who the family/person is talking about.

I'm completely wiped out, but I do think the weekend will be beneficial.

By the way, the organization has several chapters and retreat locations. It's called While We're Waiting.