Hello everybody. As I write this I’m finishing up one of the hardest weeks of 2024 so far. It’s really been a culmination of pressures from work, falling behind on the homefront due to the last couple of weekends being busy, and personal things relating to both Morgan’s death as well as the death of one of the people that I’ve written about who hurt me so badly Christmas of 2022 (and after).
It’s been a lot to deal with this week. I can tell you that I count my blessings for the friends I have. For some reason my friends are closer to me than family much of the time. I’m not complaining. I’m thankful for the family I grew up in. I’m thankful for the family I married into. But my friends tend to know me and accept me (my true self) more than it seems my family does.
I have gathered from comments from multiple posts that my honesty of my spirit is one of things most appreciated and what brings some of you here.
I guess that’s what freedom is. I have nothing to lose. The worst possible thing that can ever happen HAS happened. Death does not compare. I welcome death although it is nothing I would contemplate doing on my own.
On Wednesday this week I was driving back from my walk several miles away. On the highway in my little rural town is a small lumber mill which I surmise make pallets. As I’m driving down the highway approaching it a trailer truck pulled out in front of me. I was on the phone with hubby as it was happening. “Oh my gosh, this truck…” “ Oh my gosh, this guys not slowing down.” I was in the right lane of a 2-lane highway and slowed with plenty of room to spare. Another car in the left lane must not have been paying attention and was headed at 55-60 mph for the tail of the lumber trailer. At the extreme last second they swerved and avoided a collision. I most definitely would have witnessed a fatality. I was not scared of death for myself, but I still feel a bit “weird” for what almost happened. Trauma.
Today, on a 2-lane road I take OFTEN, I had to pass a tractor trailer on a 2-lane bridge. There is very little wiggle room. Part of me says, “Yes! NOW!” and part of me is scared to death he’ll cross the line.
Weeks like this. Ugh.
This week I also found out one of my friends is suffering greatly due to what is going on in the life of one of her adult children. I knew this man as a tween and teen and that the family suffering pains me. It completely takes me to the audio I listened to, “The Problem of Pain” by C.S. Lewis (three times now!) that the whole world is OPEN to this young man if he turns to Jesus/God for answers. A new road with blessings are awaiting. But will he? That is the purpose for pain and suffering. It’s a call.
I’ve been very very sad today. Things are about to move forward. In that vein, I wanted to let all of you know about a circumstance that pulls at my heart because it rings true. Substack has a lot to offer, and you never know what you’ll find there. I found “her” last week, and just want you to be aware.
I am here with you going through many of the same struggles and pain, from losing our grils.
Thank you Lord Jesus for connecting us.
❤️