It's Been A While...

Post 208

…since I have been this sad. I woke up fine, but in checking the couple substack and other blogs I like to look at, I read that yet another young person, smack dab in the prime of life, has died. This one a 31 year old ex-NCAA female tennis star.

It's really too much. Too many young people have died. Too Many! It made me experience many of the feelings I had in December and January. I guess it was the association to sports, but I'm also still very upset that my cousin, Rock 2, has lost her oldest son, only 23!

It makes me hate the world! I just can't stand the evil, the greed, the desire for power, or whatever it is that has put so many young people in peril.

I walked to The Spot and cried for a minute while I told Morgan how much she is missed. I asked God the why questions I already know the answers to. (He gave us humans free will, so an awful lot of horrible choices are made.)

I know someday things will make sense and be right, but it feels very bad now. It's exhausting trying to stay positive about “where she is now.”

This song just came to my mind, and I might have posted it before. All I know is that as bad as I feel, it would be 1000% worse without the comfort I do get.

“Thy Will"

I’m so confused
I know I heard You loud and clear
So, I followed through
Somehow I ended up here
I don’t wanna think
I may never understand
That my broken heart is a part of Your plan
When I try to pray
All I’ve got is hurt and these four words

Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Thy will be done

I know You’re good
But this don’t feel good right now
And I know You think
Of things I could never think about
It’s hard to count it all joy
Distracted by the noise
Just trying to make sense
Of all Your promises
Sometimes I gotta stop
Remember that You’re God
And I am not
So

Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Like a child on my knees all that comes to me is
Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Thy will

I know You see me
I know You hear me, Lord
Your plans are for me
Goodness You have in store
I know You hear me
I know You see me, Lord
Your plans are for me
Goodness You have in store
So

Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Like a child on my knees all that comes to me is
Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Thy will be done

I know You see me
I know You hear me, Lord

I make known the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come. I say, ‘My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please.’

Isaiah 46:10 NIV