Heavy

Nightly Gathering Open Thread Post 168

My heart is still heavy, especially since it's Friday. I really would like to get back to where I was a couple weeks ago.

Yesterday I was told of another couple who's only son who was about Mo's age, passed on a few months before she did. The person telling me described how both parents have completely fallen apart, raging anger, medicated, no ability to accept any part of their loss. I know I'd be there as well if it wasn't for all of the prayers and support, but especially the faith that I was born into and had the opportunity and desire to develop over my lifetime. Thank you, Lord.

My heart breaks for them because I know how awful they feel, but they are unable to come out of the “vice on the heart.” For you prayer warriors, maybe think about saying one for them.

Today's walk to The Spot was 6:15 am early and 71 degrees. With heat index, we were nearly 100 today. I listened to Jordan Peterson talking with Eric Metaxis but I am not done yet. I may link to it then. I was fortunate to see a cardinal high up on a telephone wire. I called out, “Hey! Good morning!” to which it promptly flew to a tree further away.

As for the branch with dead leaves, two glances only by my sweet dog. She has a solid answer to her questions from a few days ago.

At the actual SPOT, tears are shed almost every time, and they were today. I tell her that I know whatever she'll be doing today will be amazing and I'm happy for her. Two weeks ago, that worked so well to make me feel great, but lately it isn't having much affect.

I know I'm a downer tonight but tomorrow is a new day. I'm looking very forward to meeting with the new friend I've been meeting with bi-weekly since the While We're Waiting retreat in early May. We've been doing breakfasts and it just helps us both to meet one on one like this. Her daughter died only six weeks before mine, so we are experiencing this “year of all the firsts” together now.

Humble yourselves [with an attitude of repentance and insignificance] in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you [He will lift you up, He will give you purpose].

James 4:10 AMP