Happy and Sad

Post 211

As you may have gathered, I am now fairly content a lot of the time, nearly eight months after the worst day of my life. This past week, and also upon returning to the city I love and now call home, I just know I have so much to be grateful for, that I choose to concentrate on my blessings instead of what's been taken away.

Morgan is still at the forefront of my thoughts the minute I'm not busy thinking about something else. As has happened since December 23rd, when I do, my heart will literally skip a beat and I'll feel it in my stomach, too. Depending on the thought, tears may well, but that is now more rare.

One old highschool friend who I went on a six mile walk with on Tuesday in Columbus, just beating pouring rain at the finish, was happily surprised how I just brought up Mo’s name randomly, without hesitation, as if she had not passed. I would have said “as if she were still alive”, but the thing is, SHE IS STILL ALIVE, just not here on Earth in bodily form. I know this.

I love talking about her. I did so all the time from 1998 to 2022 and I don't plan on stopping. Now, however, the conversation might veer off into what heaven is like and what she could possibly be doing there.

One thing made me both happy and sad simultaneously today. Yes, that's possible! One of Morgan's friends who spoke at her Celebration of Life and had the baby last month, texted me several of his one-month old baby pictures. It was a wonderful surprise and she is the only one of Morgan's friends who is still communicating with me. I felt so great that she thought to do that! I felt sad because Morgan is missing out on it and I know she would have loved this baby! I don't blame any of her other friends for not staying in touch or even think they should be, I'm just thrilled that this one did/is.

I'm glad to be physically active again. The dog and I walked in the morning to The Spot and then hubby and I hiked at Cathedral after dinner.

Thank you for reading!

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

Philippians 4:12‭-‬13 NIV