Current Strategy

Post 240

Hello. I’ve been mostly better, and I want to thank friends near and far, personally known and unknown, for the prayers for strength and peace that got me through it again.

My current strategy to keep me out of that sunken valley is twofold, and it feels a little weird. One is to keep busy, which isn't much of a problem. The second is that I’m not allowing myself to think about Morgan as much. I’ll allow it for a second or two but push it right back out. That’s the part that feels weird. The intentionality of it.

I am able to concentrate again on where she is, which isn't in this crazy and getting-weirder-all-the-time world. I’m thankful she doesn't have to deal with it. Sometimes during hikes or walks, and sometimes at night, I like to “pretend” that she’s talking to me, telling me how great it is, how I have no idea, how I’m just going to love it someday, too. She “tells” me she can't reveal too much, but just know that everything the Bible says is true. She “thanks” me for trying to keep her focused on that during her down times especially, and regrets she didn't understand. Of course I tell her I never understood as clearly as I do now either; that it took her passing to help me see it. It’s now so obvious.

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