Celebrating Morgan’s Life

On Saturday April 8, 2023 in Owens Crossroads, Gurley, and Huntsville, AL many people came together to celebrate Morgan’s life.  I looked back in my texts and it looks like we started thinking about it on or right around January 5^th.  I can’t say I worked on it a lot from that point forward, but the ideas of how I wanted it to be were pretty continual and then just conveying those ideas to other people began to help it take form until we ended up with almost perfection when it actually took place as far as my hubby, son, and I are concerned.   I’ve stated many times that I couldn’t have done it without my friends and family and that is an understatement.  Can I ever thank them enough?  Well one more time at least.  To those of you who I know read this, thank you again!  Thank you for the shoulder to cry on, the ear to listen, the suggestions and opinions, the friendship in every way, shape, and form.  Thank you to all who don’t live in Huntsville as well.  Without your prayers, support, love-from-a-distance, it would not have been the same either.  I know I’m different than most people in that I see God’s love when any of the above was directed at me or my family.  We are made in God’s image.  Do you think you are capable of administering love on your own?  Any love that we feel toward one another is a reflection of His immense love.  How could we feel or do something that He didn’t first create?  Make sense?

I knew I’d wake around 5:30 or 6:00 am Saturday morning, so I left it to myself to make the grape salad, which is an easy recipe.  My beautiful cousin, as I’ve mentioned before, washed and had the grapes off their vines and ready.  All I had to do was make the cream cheese, sour cream, sugar concoction and mix them altogether.  I had to combine pecans and brown sugar and find a spoon for those who wanted to add even more decadence. I wanted to keep busy the entire time from waking to leaving.  I had a spot where I’d put the memory book, the rope, the scissors, the extra plastic utensils and little napkins, the additional Dollar Tree plastic serving spoons etc.  Hubby, son, and friend loaded the cars.  We took two cars to the church because my hubby had something he had to do back at home between the service and the tournament.  The four grape salad containers (maybe 10” long by 5” deep?) went into the cooler along with the cheesecake bites (3 trays) bought from Sam’s Club.

It was raining and cold, so that did put a bit of a damper on the day, but I didn’t hear one person complain.  This part of Alabama can be beautiful even on these days because the clouds come low and look wispy against the mountain backdrop, which they did, and it was pretty.  Rock 3 and hubby were at the church when we got there and had everything else we needed for everything to go off as planned.  She and I had picked out container flowers arrangements and she was taking care of them the whole week.  She wrapped them in burlap and tied pretty colorful blows on them.  We took them to the stage and another friend who’d also gotten there early found some pedestals to put two of them on.  There wasn’t much else to do.  I’d given the box of programs to my son’s friend and he gave them to people as they entered the sanctuary.

We sat a couple rows back from the front row as the front row was too close to the stage for comfort.  Rock 2 and hubby sat a couple rows further back and our other Huntsville friends soon joined them.  I remembered with maybe 20 minutes to go that I’d probably want pictures.  She said she’d take care of getting some and didn’t disappoint.  I’d prepared for a maximum of a hundred people and if everyone at the church had gone to the tournament and vice versa, it would have been close.  Probably 50-60 maybe at the church?  Here is what the program looked like.

We greeted any people that came directly to us before the service, but didn’t get out of our seats once we sat down about 15 minutes before the service was set to start.  My son sat on the end seat, then me, then hubby.  I did get thirsty and my son went and got me a large cup of water.  It was pretty silent in the sanctuary until about ten minutes prior when they started playing some worship type contemporary music.  I was glad for that instead of silence.  At 9:00 when it was supposed to start, the Pastor came over and said there are still many people out there waiting to get in, did we want to wait five or ten minutes, and of course we did. We had announced casual dress, so that is exactly what people dressed in, especially knowing the next stop was the sand volleyball courts.

The first song started the program.  This is it.  I’m putting it in ahead of time because I think all phones etc. will be able to see it.  The rest of the program did not start getting recorded until the first speaker had begun.  Jill, my “oldest” friend as she says I say and I’m sure I do, was the M.C. and introduced herself after the song completed.  She let the listeners know our background and that she’d seen Morgan a few times over the years as she grew up, and was friends with her through Facebook even as we, Morgan’s parents, had quit it, so she got to see her adult life as well.

Jill also likes to say we are “cut from the same cloth” and that is so.  One thing that happened was that I had her last name spelled wrong in the program.  When I caught it, I tried to get to the printer in time but I was too late.  Next step, phone call to Jill.  I knew how she would likely react, but I had to give her the opportunity to say she wasn’t comfortable with her name being spelled wrong, and I was 100% on board to get them all reprinted.  But she laughed off my error and I told her I thought I knew a good way to “get it right.”  When you see the end of the first song, you’ll see a little snippet on the end that I’d found on Morgan’s phone.  I was going to use it regardless because I was pretty sure something would go haywire, but this was the perfect start.

So Jill introduced Sheila, hubby’s sister.  It does say Chip in the program, who is her husband, however, Sheila worked up the courage to do the public speaking herself.  She nailed it as you’ll see if you are able to view the rest of the program.  I have it up on a folder in google drive and will grant permission to anybody who asks.  I have your email address if you subscribe, but if you do not, you may text Morgan’s phone (513-498-8680) and give your email address and I will add you.  It might not be done right away.  I may then also have to grant your request to get in.  You can leave a comment saying you’d like to see it, or if you know me and have my number or email, just text me as well. I’m guessing it was recorded on an iphone.  Those with iphones seem to have no problem viewing it.  I cannot on my android phone.  On the computer, I had to purchase whatever a codex is for 99 cents from Microsoft, in order to view it.  Don’t you just love technology?

I started crying a bit just before the service started. I thought, “I’m never gonna make it through this if I’m already crying. “  I have to tell you that my hubby, son, and I watched both Abigail’s recorded piece and the last song(s) on Friday night.  They needed to see them ahead of time to be prepared for how heart-wrenching they were.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1zLIyA0hmWjc3yWIW3PU41zIsNvqhKjhi/view?usp=drivesdk

But with the speakers speaking I mostly did not cry.  I think I mostly smiled.  I cried during the middle song and I definitely cried, AS ALWAYS, when the last song(s) played.  I was blown away by how wonderful everybody did and the impact that Morgan had on other people.  To be honest, we didn’t always get to see the side of Morgan most of them described.  She was a complicated person, just like all of us, and we’re not always the same around our parents as we are around our friends.  This was clearly the case with her.  There were many times Morgan made me feel like I, her mom, was her best friend, but many of the speakers (in her adult life) also felt they were her best friend, too.  She was NOT a shallow person.  We liked to talk about “things that matter.”  If she could find somebody who also liked to talk about “things that matter,” then she held that person in high regard.  But she was also super funny, a dark sense of humor, so if you liked the comedian Anthony Jeselnik, or you had a good sense of humor in general, she’d feel she had something in common with you and want to be around you.

Not everything went perfectly in the service, but what didn’t was really only noticed by me, and perhaps the AV guy, who knew what was supposed to happen.

We got up out of our seats first and stood outside the door of the sanctuary where anybody who wanted to greet us and/or hug us could.  Thank you Rock 3 for the pictures.

Now a week later and this is what I’m feeling.  I agree with my commenters on the last couple of night’s posts that there just has to be a period of “now what?” now that everything that has been anticipated is now complete.  It’s not a letdown by any means, but there has to be a transition into the new normal, whatever that is going to be.  You’ll be happy to know that I got a lot of sleep last night and have been gung ho all day today!

On my way back from early morning errands today, it struck me as clear as a bell, what my frame of mind MUST be.  I discussed the thoughts with hubby, and we are on the same page.  This is what I know in my bones and in my soul.  It would be disrespecting God Himself if I did not appreciate all that He has given me (before), but especially since Morgan’s death.  He has been there with me EVERY STEP of every day and am I going to discount all of that and not be grateful for His presence?  Am I going to say that I know better than He does and that He made a mistake and took my daughter too soon?  How could I possibly say that?  Am I going to live my life suffering for a mistake that God supposedly made?  Impossible!

When I heard from the doctor that morning that they’d done all they could to keep her from dying but didn’t succeed, God made sure that two of His earthly children who are committed to Him, were there to hold me at the worst possible moment of my life.  Where would I have been without those two people? (Hubby was still on the way to the hospital). I’ve mentioned before the few other times (texting at exactly the minute her death was called 48 hours earlier on Christmas, the Heron, the Role Model call), the PEOPLE, all of you, now and in the future.  WE ARE ALL IN THIS CRAZY WORLD TOGETHER! I don’t know what the future holds.  God takes terrible things and makes good come from them if you are a willing participant and believe that HE IS GOOD. HE IS LOVE. If you want these same type of God winks in your life, they are available when you are a willing participant.  Talk to Him like He’s your best friend. You’ll be surprised by the surprises. It’s not that they don’t happen to everybody - they do - but many people don’t recognize that God is behind the good - the love.  It’s taken for granted that that’s how good life is supposed to be. It’s really not. You are getting grace and mercy upon grace and mercy.  I realize I am starting to be a little preachy.  I just don’t understand why people don’t WANT GOD in their lives.

The only other thing that went haywire is that there was miscommunication in what was in each of the two cars we loaded, before leaving for the service.  We wanted to hang the quilts on the rope, but we thought it was in the wrong car.  We wanted to hang the banner that Rob, her high school beach director, had brought from Cincinnati, representing her scholarship.  We had to stop at Dollar Tree on the way to the tournament because I thought we didn’t have the serving spoons.  We had everything we needed in my car, but we didn’t know it at that time.  Nobody else knew but me and maybe a few others.  It didn’t really change anything.  I was not going to put the QR code to her scholarship in this post, but one of the commenters requested it, so here it is.  It goes to VENMO.  At this time, it is NOT tax deductible.  If it gets to the point of more serious money, it will be transferred to a proper account, but Uncle Biden will also get his share when that’s the case.  For now, this is it. The first recipient will likely be chosen this August and I’ll share who it is and how much was awarded her on this blog.