An Analogy Part 2

Nightly Gathering Open Thread Post 175

I'm not sure if I have a lot of comment shy readers, many of you disagree with my assessment of my situation or analogy and think it’s better to be silent and nice, or if it's nothing more than it's interesting but you're busy and don't have time or energy. I appreciate you reading anyway, and this journaling helps me to process and figure things out.

If I came off as angry in yesterday’s post, I want to state that is not the emotion I feel. It is sadness and confusion.

It was pretty cloudy this morning so I didn't have to go out quite as early. The dog and I went to Hays Backside and I spent a great deal of the walk crying. In looking for a video on “signs” and steering clear of psychics etc., up popped an NDE video I decided to watch, followed by a second one. Both of these were making me cry with happiness in a sense, for the realm Morgan is now in.

I think of her there, and not here, and in both videos the people had hospital experiences, and they both came back but she didn't, and I understand why she didn't. Both people are adamant that “we just don't get it here.”

I'm putting links for both at the end of this post. The only change in my outlook toward my opened scar is that I will not say I will never have a relationship with Person 1 anymore. I do not have the kind of forgiving love of God, called agape, but I can keep an open mind toward the future.

https://www.gotquestions.org/agape-love.html

I forgot to mention that I read in bed after I first woke up but before I started my day. I researched “glimmers” because yesterday Rock 2 sent me something she'd run across on Facebook that describes my GBH, cardinals, and butterflies. I ran across a website of a woman who described near the end of her blog post better than I did, how she felt God's literal love after the loss of an infant and her own medical emergency. Here is the link for that as well in case you're interested.

https://wellnesswinz.com/2020/11/11/glimmers-of-joy-amid-grief-loss-and-loneliness/

More tears and actual sobs came today after my walk when the friend from yesterday found and texted me a poem that is similar to the Mandi Fisher “Angel's Response” song. I have to laugh at my non-empathetic dog though. I was at my desk and when the sob erupted, she got up and left the room, which actually turned my sobs into laughter! It's not letting me copy and paste the poem without her words in the text to me as well.

All of this by mid-day when I took an official break to step out into the sunlight to get the mail and bring the trash can back up to the house. “Morgan” swooped along the back deck, dressed differently today, and found a spot she liked on my old shoe of a pair I use for yardwork.

I sat down and watched and talked to her like a crazy person for several minutes. I checked about an hour later and “she” was still there. I went to get my phone but she'd left finally when I came back out. (Bottom picture was actually first.)

I'm okay. I really am. It's been a rough couple of weeks for sure, but peace will return for longer again. I know that.

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.

Hebrews 11:1 NIV