I know I have adapted to the loss of Morgan as I close in on the six month mark. I do not feel the deep, heart-vice grief present at the beginning, nor do I feel the constant “homesick” feeling present until a few weeks ago. The grief now is a type of acceptance. I guess I am continuing to tread peaceful waters. I talk to her sometimes now, which I only just started. Hubby has talked to her from Day 1 or shortly thereafter I think. At the beginning I couldn't look at a single picture of her for at least a week, then for awhile I couldn't get enough. Now it's in between.
I have entirely accepted where she is. My mind, heart, and soul have adapted to the eternity continuum we were all born into. Instead of her being in a foreign country, away from me for a long period of time, I am the one who is away from her, God, and our TRUE home.
Counseling was very good today. I think it might have been a good month since I went last. This counselor is not JUST a grief counselor, so I again say that near or far, if you or someone you know would like to move forward on an issue, email me and I'll send his contact information.
I was so busy with work today that I wasn't able to take the dog for her walk. Yesterday I didn't want to risk her pulling my back, so I picked 'S' up and we walked the Publix side of Hays, she with the leash. Definitely a chance to see a GBH, but we didn't. We did see a rat snake though, my first snake sighting this year.
“Don’t hoard treasure down here where it gets eaten by moths and corroded by rust or—worse!—stolen by burglars. Stockpile treasure in heaven, where it’s safe from moth and rust and burglars. It’s obvious, isn’t it? The place where your treasure is, is the place you will most want to be, and end up being.
Matthew 6:19-21 MSG
I am so glad you have reached this place in your grieving. I have no doubt you have this verse, but I thought of you when I saw it in an email devotion this morning:
“I want you to know what happens to a Christian when he dies so that when it happens, you will not be full of sorrow, as those are who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and then came back to life again, we can also believe that when Jesus returns, God will bring back with him all the Christians who have died” (vv.13-14 TLB). 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14