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Post 269

I have started to become more emotional again this week. Nowhere near the level this time last year, but more than this year itself. I know it is because Morgan’s birthday is coming up next week. If she’d stayed on Earth, she’d be turning 26 on March 14th.

I get that same heart-skipping beat that sinks my insides when I just think of that date.

I began thinking about how my life has changed, and how seemingly random decisions a long time ago had a major influence on the people I am very close to now, and how Mo’s death has also changed my relationships.

Here’s an example. When we were gathered in Sylvania, Ohio when my mom passed away in 2016, many of us had a really fun time playing a few board games at my brother's house one night. When I returned to Cincinnati, I wanted more of that kind of fun, so I asked the Pastor at my church if I could start a game night. Of course - and we even made a meetup group out of it to try to attract more people. That it did! A young couple, in their 20s, via meetup would come to game night, and one night they mentioned they played Euchre at a nearby restaurant/bar. I had not played since highschool, but I remembered I had loved that Midwestern card game, so I began with that group as well.

A couple years later here in Alabama, a Euchre meetup group was exactly how I met new people to become friends with. Rock 3 (Jeanne) and her hubby had tried that group once or twice, but that group itself petered out, but I was able to form one, which Jeanne and hubby showed up to, and our friendship developed and grew over the next many months, with new people finding us (being directed?) and regularly attending - and we all enjoy each other’s company a lot. If 1) we hadn't played board games that night in 2016 or 2) I lived with “missing” that kind of fun and didn't go down that road to start something when I returned or 3) we hadn't advertised with meetup or 4) the young couple hadn't mentioned Euchre…boy my life in Huntsville would be very different! I can't imagine I’d be loving it as much without these friends!

Many of the people I am closest with and talk to the most, people who add so much to my life, are either reinvigorated relationships from people in my past, or are brand new, as a direct result of being in “the terrible club.”

One example is W3. We still meet every 2-3 weeks, and we are now at the point of not only sharing where we are with our grief, but many things in each other’s lives. I can't imagine not knowing her now.

A second example is Dawn, a friend who was a friend mostly because our daughters were friends in elementary school and junior high. We connected as sisters in Christ, however, and enjoyed each other’s company. If Mo had not passed, that friendship would have remained a nice memory, but instead she is coming here for a visit tomorrow!

A third example is M in Columbus. When I had the inkling to write tonight, I needed to know the truth if it was Mo's death itself that seemed to pull her to attending a highschool reunion she had no desire to attend, or if it was just a pull but she didn't know why? We had been in the same friend group in junior high and highschool, but we’d never been besties. I doubt we spoke from 1983-2013, although we’d probably commented here or there on Facebook before I got off. In 2013, we ran into each other at a court volleyball tournament. But there she was at our “not very well attended” reunion because she had to go.

I’ve mentioned before that our walk & talk conversations are crazy just being exactly on par with so much, and she’s been a huge encourager regarding my book. I can't imagine my life without her in it. She responded to my question like this, and it is said so beautifully that I’m just copying it in.

These are just a few examples, but almost all of my relationships have improved since Mo has left. You have no idea how much I miss some people I’ve never even met, people who became friends because they found, supported, and encouraged me on this blog! I truly think about so many of you and pray your lives are full of love and wisdom, and health.

How about the regular readers who knew me personally, people from somewhere in my past, who support me with their hearts and/or prayers while they keep abreast of what I might have to say? Again, you’d be a nice memory of my life, but now you are real to me again, and I think about and pray for you!

Mo's life meant everything to me while she was alive here. I wanted her to have every dream she ever had fulfilled, and did my best to help her achieve them. I love her and miss her, BUT, I feel like I understand and live Romans 8:28, long mine and many other people’s favorite scripture.

‭‭Romans 8:28 NIV‬‬

[28] And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.