A Type of Acceptance

Post 200

I think I'm in a new stage. I don't feel sad a lot of the time anymore, and I think that might be part of the reason I see so few signs (of nature or music), because I don't need them, at least right now.

I feel the pang of homesickness periodically, and I definitely miss the day to day or week to week interaction with my daughter. There is a piece of me missing, but I guess now I feel like this is the new normal. This is pretty much how I think I'll feel until the day I die.

I enjoy myself with my friends, like the long hike we took this evening overlooking South Huntsville, or whenever we get together. I do have fun. But once I'm not “in the moment” anymore, the next thought is usually going to center on Morgan in some respect. The missing piece is always missing. Nothing can fill it.

I think I was here right before the 6th month anniversary, and I'm sure there will be things that upset me in the future ( I hate the word trigger now), especially if I'm not expecting it, but I know I'll eventually sway back into where I think I am now; this type of acceptance.

I know writing has helped keep me centered, making me think about how my day was, and each day I both start and end it with the words of wisdom given to us from the one who created us. I'm thankful even though I don't understand.

As iron sharpens iron, So one man sharpens [and influences] another [through discussion].

Proverbs 27:17 AMP